The Chinese Whisper

Kooks Tapas Bar
Every couple of weeks we get together for a staff meeting to discuss any problem clients (the Lorries usually feature here – they’re the bullies of the Bar), issues or ideas for bar location, but mainly to just spit ball ideas around to boost patronage.

Well Chef, thinking outside the square, came up with this. “Why not start a Chinese Whisper”

“And what would that do?” asked the rest.

“Well” said Chef, “Hear me out. I recently picked up a shipment of pink grapes, and these are unusual”

“Now, who do we all know that’s got a big mouth?” said Chef

Without hesitation they all replied…Pernicious Pee Wee. She & Pedro run the local Harassment Company and she gets into everyone’s ear.

“I’ll tell her they’re special & not to tell anyone”
Everyone thought this was a great idea, and if not successful, should be a bit of fun at least.

So, early the next morning Chef was laying the table & Pernicious turned up.

“What’s on today Chef?”
“Well, I’ve come into a small supply of Pink Grapes. These are really rare & I’ll only be serving these up to our best of clients, those that are true connoisseurs. It is said they are the juiciest, fattest, tastiest grapes of all, and once tasted have a dark side. I tell you this on the hush hush. Tell no one Pernicious!”

This is how it panned out as it worked its way up the mountain.

She mentioned to Mal the miner “Hey did you hear, Chef is putting on special grapes he’s got for special customers. Says they have magical powers.”
“I’m special Pernicious, at least that what my mum tells me, and I’m also a connoisseur, whatever that means, I’m going to check it out. What magical powers Pernicious?”
“Chef didn’t say, all he said was they have a dark side. I’m guessing black magic. Just don’t tell them you heard it from me. Tell them you were just flying past and noticed the unusual Tapas.”



 “Wow, these ARE special, I feel 10 feet tall.”
You'd have to be to eat that!

 “Mal, what’s that you’re chewing on?” says Cedrick & Daphne the Lorries.

“I’ll tell you, but you must keep it a secret”
“We’re good for that Mal, what’s the buzz”
“Keep this tight guys, but these grapes are magical. I just had one & well, they make your dreams come true. I feel 10 feet tall & ready to take on the world, even one full of Spotted Doves”



Dutch Courage
Poor old Ketut

Cedrick & Daphne jumped straight in. “Daphne, do you feel it?”

“Yes, yes I think I do.  You know that feeling I have that I’m always being watched, well it’s gone”

They fed, the laughed, they left.

Pied (the poorly named Grey Butcherbird), was standing quietly on top of the Tapas Bar listening intently to every word they said.
“Magic grapes hey. The others have only been eating halves & look what happened to them. I’m going to eat a whole one. WOWW, Ha, now I feel as I always knew I would. I KNEW I was a Kookaburra. Brothers by a different mother. I’m off to join my bothers.”



more on that, but we'll get back to that.

Unknown to everyone, Ketut, the Spotted Dove, was hiding under the table since he’d heard Mal’s comment and figured he intended no good. Being 4 times Mal’s size, he would normally be left alone, but today Mal was taking advantage of the timid nature Doves are famous for.

He hopped up. “I wish”, he says eating a mouthful of grapes, “I wish I had the courage to silence that noisy miner.” Thy wish be done.

Drunk with Power, she fell off the Bar.
Bwahahaha

While all of this has been going on, Button, the youngest of my Kookaburras has been watching in awe. There was some crazy shit going on down at the Tapas Bar today.  The next moment Pied (the poorly named Grey Butcherbird), land’s next to her and says “What’s happening Sis?”
“What are you talking about Pied?”
“I saw the truth, once I tried those magic grapes.”
“This begs two questions Pied. What Magic grapes & what truth?”
“Those magic grapes that Chef has put on. I had one, and it dawned on me how alike you & I are. I’m the same as you.”
“If having one of those has done this to you. I’m going down to get a beak full. I’m young & I want to expand my boundaries.”

Not too long later……………..

“Howdy Button. What you doing up here? We never see you this far up the mountain”
“Wow, it’s really nice up here Angelina, oh yeah, G’day”
“What brings you our way Button?”
“I just scoffed a beak full of Magic grapes down at the Tapas Bar, and it’s like anything I desire happens. It’s been on my mind that I might move out from Mum & Dad’s place and look for a patch of my own, and shazam, here I am. Magic”
“How rude. I’m ½ way thru my story and she takes off. Some Lady!”

Seconds later (now there’s the bloody miracle), Angelina arrived in all her glory.

“So, these are those Magic grapes hey. They’re pink. Gee, if they’re Pink, they must be Magical.”

“AHHHHHH, these are lovely. Let me savor the very last drop”

“OK, for my wish…………I wish……….to die looking like I look today.” She dropped dead.
Nah, sorry folks, she’s OK. She flew off.

Well that’s it for this week, I hope you enjoyed. Everyone got what they desired & it was within them all the time. What a great Placebo.

Anyone for Cockroach for dinner.

Well it’s been a mixed week, things have been a bit slow at the Tapas Bar.

Lucky for me my cats (Jekyll & Hyde) have jumped in to help provide some interesting tucker for my birds. Lately they’ve brought in a couple of Cockroaches. These get confiscated, against howls of derision, as food for my birds.
The cockies were placed in a container (in the fridge) ready for the next morning and the Tapas Bar.
Note to self: don’t get pissed and mistake these as Chinese takeaway, while they may spring they are not spring rolls.
So the next morning they are carefully placed on the Tapas Bar to get the best photos of what might happen.
Well, soon after positioning these thought to be dead cockies, one moved (it’s alive).
Now that’s not a real good thing for a cockie to do on a BIRD FEEDING TABLE. These guys may be tough, but not real smart.
Instantly Bitey spotted the movement. This cockie, that had such sure hopes for the future, were dashed. He looked up and said one word, & only one word “Fcuk” (they’re not real good at spelling either).
Against all advice for staying still, he ran the gauntlet. Mistake……Big Mistake.

I spy with my little eye.....
Some poor sucker that moved.

Mine, all mine
THE PRECIOUS

Ok, he’s history, but old mate is still playing dead.
This proved a successful strategy, as he lasted another hour. After watching his brother die because he moved, he was frozen to the spot.

However sooner or later someone was bound to notice him. Unfortunately, it was Pied who noticed him.

Pied, the Grey Butcherbird with the unfortunate name.

Now Pied, (a Grey Butcherbird) wrongly named & now with identity issues (sorry Pied – shit happens), spotted the last Cockroach. Unfortunately for the cockie he’s not destined for long life.

Hey Dad, look what I found!
 

I do believe, but I could be wrong.
I see a cockie playing dead.

I think I have the deadest fix for playing dead



And that is to be dead.

As my sister Chris would say....
That's one good cockroach

Now if you believe in Karma, there are 2 things I wouldn’t like to come back as; a Mullet or a Cockroach, both seem to be a feed source for just about everything.

Anyway, that's life is as it . Hope to see all you soon.

The things a Kookaburra will eat

I thought I knew what Kookaburras eat, but this family of mine has shown me how inquisitive they are when it comes to tucker. Because I put out some fruit & veg out for my other visitors to the Tapas Bar, it amazes me what organic food they eat. They have to try everything. Something's they like and something's get tossed off the bar. Button (this year’s bub) is a classic, but I’ll get to that later.

When I’m feeding just them, their diet consists mainly of strips of beef, chicken, chicken bones.

C'mon bother, wouldn't you like to share?
Bwahahahaha



Don't you love it when it just rains treats.
C'mon Brother, surely you'll share that?
Bwahahaha

If they’ve been good, and I’ve cooked up some prawns (I always boil up a few extra for them), they get a treat. It's interesting watching their reaction to this. Of my family of 6, only 4 like whole prawns. Yet they all like the prawn heads I toss down. Go Figure!

If I have bacon, they get the rind. These strips I bury in the grass with just the tip showing. It’s a game we play “Snakes in the grass”. Unfortunately for them, I don’t eat a lot of bacon, but they love it when I do.

God, is there no end to this?

Looks like a snake, hey

But this post is about the other things they eat. The things you wouldn’t expect. And Button leads the way.

This is what they get to choose from; Rice, Potato, Sweet Potato & Pumpkin (steamed or mashed), Corn, Monstera Fruit, Peaches, Grapes, Mango, Bananas, Cockroaches, Spiders, Stick Insects (the last 3 compliments of my cats), oh yeah, flowers & berries.

Here are some photos of what they try;

Corn, great, time to make...............

 

POPCORN



And you thought we were meat eaters!
Welcome to the new age Kookaburras - Vegan
 

It's soft & squishy.
And it tastes like................



Banana - that's got to go!



Instead of Peaches & Cream
We have Peaches & Dandylions

But what she really likes is pumpkin.

I soo much like pumpkin



What devil thing is this?
What has he hidden under this pumpkin?
 

Maybe if I bang it so hard on the table that the corn jumps in fright...

I can't tell you the urge I had to pull the trigger

Hey Sis, you need to try this mango.
It's mangonificent

They're pretty keen on Potato too.
 

Over the lips, past the gums
Yeah, I know I'm a bird!
OK, so we don't have lips and we don't have gums.
But you get the jist.

Turns out we are partial to grapes of all things.

Who'd of thunk it? Kookas & grapes

they don't mind Chinese chicken omelette either

And then there's the flowers & bugs;

Pink looks tasty
I think so too.
I wouldn't mind eating pink (wink)

These Tobacco Tree berries look good
YUUUUUK, Got to go.

these blossoms have to go

He keeps putting these on the table.

They must taste OK
Nup, pretty ordinary actually.

The lengths I go to for these birds
This guy hit me in the thumb as thanks.
He got his just desserts!

Any that know me, this is dedication.
I HATE BLOODY SPIDERS

You're kidding me
Can't you see that

I do now.

My cats are always bringing in what they catch on the veranda.
They get the shits when I remove it from them to present to the Kookas.
 

AHHH, fresh cockroach.

So with all they eat, they digest what they can.
The bits they can't digest come back as this.
A bit like a fur ball.

Well that's it for what they like to eat.

OH, I forgot one their favourite things to chew on, and with that I'll see you on the next post.

If you enjoyed this post, here's a link to my latest post;

https://bradsburras.blogspot.com/2021/05/cedrick-nasty-lorikeet.html