The Chinese Whisper

Kooks Tapas Bar
Every couple of weeks we get together for a staff meeting to discuss any problem clients (the Lorries usually feature here – they’re the bullies of the Bar), issues or ideas for bar location, but mainly to just spit ball ideas around to boost patronage.

Well Chef, thinking outside the square, came up with this. “Why not start a Chinese Whisper”

“And what would that do?” asked the rest.

“Well” said Chef, “Hear me out. I recently picked up a shipment of pink grapes, and these are unusual”

“Now, who do we all know that’s got a big mouth?” said Chef

Without hesitation they all replied…Pernicious Pee Wee. She & Pedro run the local Harassment Company and she gets into everyone’s ear.

“I’ll tell her they’re special & not to tell anyone”
Everyone thought this was a great idea, and if not successful, should be a bit of fun at least.

So, early the next morning Chef was laying the table & Pernicious turned up.

“What’s on today Chef?”
“Well, I’ve come into a small supply of Pink Grapes. These are really rare & I’ll only be serving these up to our best of clients, those that are true connoisseurs. It is said they are the juiciest, fattest, tastiest grapes of all, and once tasted have a dark side. I tell you this on the hush hush. Tell no one Pernicious!”

This is how it panned out as it worked its way up the mountain.

She mentioned to Mal the miner “Hey did you hear, Chef is putting on special grapes he’s got for special customers. Says they have magical powers.”
“I’m special Pernicious, at least that what my mum tells me, and I’m also a connoisseur, whatever that means, I’m going to check it out. What magical powers Pernicious?”
“Chef didn’t say, all he said was they have a dark side. I’m guessing black magic. Just don’t tell them you heard it from me. Tell them you were just flying past and noticed the unusual Tapas.”



 “Wow, these ARE special, I feel 10 feet tall.”
You'd have to be to eat that!

 “Mal, what’s that you’re chewing on?” says Cedrick & Daphne the Lorries.

“I’ll tell you, but you must keep it a secret”
“We’re good for that Mal, what’s the buzz”
“Keep this tight guys, but these grapes are magical. I just had one & well, they make your dreams come true. I feel 10 feet tall & ready to take on the world, even one full of Spotted Doves”



Dutch Courage
Poor old Ketut

Cedrick & Daphne jumped straight in. “Daphne, do you feel it?”

“Yes, yes I think I do.  You know that feeling I have that I’m always being watched, well it’s gone”

They fed, the laughed, they left.

Pied (the poorly named Grey Butcherbird), was standing quietly on top of the Tapas Bar listening intently to every word they said.
“Magic grapes hey. The others have only been eating halves & look what happened to them. I’m going to eat a whole one. WOWW, Ha, now I feel as I always knew I would. I KNEW I was a Kookaburra. Brothers by a different mother. I’m off to join my bothers.”



more on that, but we'll get back to that.

Unknown to everyone, Ketut, the Spotted Dove, was hiding under the table since he’d heard Mal’s comment and figured he intended no good. Being 4 times Mal’s size, he would normally be left alone, but today Mal was taking advantage of the timid nature Doves are famous for.

He hopped up. “I wish”, he says eating a mouthful of grapes, “I wish I had the courage to silence that noisy miner.” Thy wish be done.

Drunk with Power, she fell off the Bar.
Bwahahaha

While all of this has been going on, Button, the youngest of my Kookaburras has been watching in awe. There was some crazy shit going on down at the Tapas Bar today.  The next moment Pied (the poorly named Grey Butcherbird), land’s next to her and says “What’s happening Sis?”
“What are you talking about Pied?”
“I saw the truth, once I tried those magic grapes.”
“This begs two questions Pied. What Magic grapes & what truth?”
“Those magic grapes that Chef has put on. I had one, and it dawned on me how alike you & I are. I’m the same as you.”
“If having one of those has done this to you. I’m going down to get a beak full. I’m young & I want to expand my boundaries.”

Not too long later……………..

“Howdy Button. What you doing up here? We never see you this far up the mountain”
“Wow, it’s really nice up here Angelina, oh yeah, G’day”
“What brings you our way Button?”
“I just scoffed a beak full of Magic grapes down at the Tapas Bar, and it’s like anything I desire happens. It’s been on my mind that I might move out from Mum & Dad’s place and look for a patch of my own, and shazam, here I am. Magic”
“How rude. I’m ½ way thru my story and she takes off. Some Lady!”

Seconds later (now there’s the bloody miracle), Angelina arrived in all her glory.

“So, these are those Magic grapes hey. They’re pink. Gee, if they’re Pink, they must be Magical.”

“AHHHHHH, these are lovely. Let me savor the very last drop”

“OK, for my wish…………I wish……….to die looking like I look today.” She dropped dead.
Nah, sorry folks, she’s OK. She flew off.

Well that’s it for this week, I hope you enjoyed. Everyone got what they desired & it was within them all the time. What a great Placebo.